Dispatch form the Desert. # 6 100km north of Baghdad Iraq
01 March '08
Had a strong flash, which has turned into a stronger meditation.
Death is the absence of duality.
At first it sounds like a 60's cliché or a new-age saying, but the more I mediated on it and all it could be the more it felt stronger and clearer. Death is not just a place that is lacking duality. Everything seems to say that it is not even a place at all What death is I am not clear on, but it feels amazing to realize a space without duality and all that it would entail, or even more clear, all that it would not entail.Well, my interest with death and constant mediation on it. Hope it doesn't lead to death, ha ha.got to share this one thing with you, I am terrified of death and more to the point terrified of life ending.no longer enjoying the smell and beauty of a woman's neck, the sight of the coconut tree blowing in the wind on a beach, looking into the eyes of all my friends and feeling love, ah feeling love. I remember Rajneesh and other masters saying death is not to be feared, ah yes, but no one has ever explained to me how to except the absences of life, love.
Guess I must find out for myself and die before this life is over..
And over here, death, all over the feign' place, not always in your face, but still the vibe, the smell, the destruction, just around the corner, just over the bend, I feel it strong. And oh my god the look on the solders faces hits me strong. I look at them and talk with them constantly; I go out of my way at times to relate to them. This is what I feel, such a waste, so very sad. America 's finest ready for action. They all must carry their M-16's at all times. I asked one sergeant if I might see how heavy it is, how it feels. Ya baby locked and loaded it felt. They all look so fresh, so strong, clear and ready. Really very handsome men ready for death. One guy told me he had 4 of his buddy's killed the other day.I look into his eyes and wonder if I see the Grim Reaper somewhere waiting for a young soul.
We have incoming rockets come in on about a once a week to the base I work at - Anaconda , about 100 kms north of Baghdad . Very large air force-army base. Very very busy - constant helicopters, f-18's large air transports taking off and landing..and ya, when a rocket comes in to the base fired by the insurgents they most always miss anything important. All though in the last years people and been killed here. The siren goes off, we all run to a bunker and wait for the "all clear" announcement.which follows. Strange to sit in bunker and wait, most KBR people are making jokes, I sometimes sit and mediate..
Oh and while we are on the subject of death, shall we talk of Sex, no? I am off to Pattaya Thailand on the 10 th March and enjoy scuba diving and Have long massages and sweet tantric sex... Have planed to meet up with a lovely Thai lady who is a friend a fellow worker's girl friend.ya it's been a while since I connected with a women.would love to connect with deep long term lover ?.This R&R I am really excited about After 8 days in Thailand , I have plans to go to Bombay Pune maybe Goa .I have to be back in Dubai on the 26 th March, I can't be late...loose the job.
It's going to be strong to return to the Ashram!! Like wow man! Remember I told you how strong it is for me to see the bamboos I planted their, along with Mukta and Co. I have a vision that I will meet up with a lovely lady and not return to Iraq .WOW! And of course the whole India thing.I remember how "disconnected" the place is , that is a very good definition.
One must be aware that the monkey is living in both countries and one must be clear to the ever present danger that lurks around those oriental ally ways..you know I place a romantic air to it all.that's dangerous we both know.the scars are almost healed from his claws ripping at my back.(not good.for growth of sprit)
Narayana Rick Weil